


Nebulous Categories

by sonata_de_morte



Category: YuYu Hakusho
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-27
Updated: 2012-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-31 19:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonata_de_morte/pseuds/sonata_de_morte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Kurama wants is to have a serious conversation with Hiei. About feelings. Is that too much to ask?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nebulous Categories

"What are we, Hiei?" Kurama asked one afternoon.

"Hm?" The little fire demon was lounging on the carefully made bed while the redhead worked at his desk. His eyes were closed and he had a bored look on his face.

"What are we?"

"What?"

"Oh come now, Hiei. Don't be difficult."

" _I'm_ being difficult?" Hiei shot back.

"Of course you are. You wouldn't be you if you weren't, which is something I have come to accept."

"Thanks so much," the jaganshi quipped acidly. "You're so astute."

"Yes, well, that comes with the territory. Are you going to answer my question?"

"What territory?"

Kurama rolled his eyes. Fine. If Hiei wanted to play games, he would soon find out that no one played them like a kitsune.

"Many of my territories, both physical and theoretical of course, require me to be able to make astute observations. First and foremost I am a thief. I won't insult your intelligence by explaining how the two go together. I am a demon living inside of a human body. One false calculation could result in my ruin. In addition to that, being astute means that my mother is safer." Kurama turned around to face his friend, green eyes glinting with amusement. "Do I need to go on?"

"Hn."

"Shall I take that as a yes?"

"No, you shall not."

"Then please, for the sake of anything you might feel for me, stop avoiding what I am trying to say to you."

Hiei was taken aback. It was rare that his redheaded companion said 'please' to anyone or truly asked for anything. He was more a fan of manipulating what he wanted out of people. But Hiei being Hiei could not let things happen so easily. "Who says I feel anything for you?" he replied without opening his eyes.

The silence in the room stretched on for what felt like an eternity for Hiei. He had been expecting the traditional snappy comeback from his friend, but there was silence. Hiei cracked an eyelid open and was disconcerted to find Kurama's emerald stare fixed firmly on his face.

" _I_  say you do," the former thief said quietly. "Please understand, Hiei. I'm not trying to impose anything on you. I'm not looking for any grand declarations. I just…" he faltered there, and that was so uncharacteristic of Kurama that it jarred Hiei.

The jaganshi took a breath. "I should think it would be fairly obvious, fox," he said, careful to keep the uninterested tone that he was so famous for in his voice. "How long have we known each other?"

"Years."

"Hn. You're my partner, and we…trust…each other."

"Could I go so far as to say that we're friends?" Kurama asked, his normal self assurance returning.

"You can say whatever you want," Hiei returned.

That wasn't a no.

"So then I could say that we are more than friends."

That wasn't a question.

"How so?" Hiei wanted to know.

Kurama smiled. "Friends, in the conventional sense, are not as close as we are. We have looked death in the face several times together, Hiei, seen each other at the lowest points a person - human or demon - can achieve, and through all of that, here we still are. That forges a bond stronger than friendship."

"You and Yusuke have a similar bond. Are you more than friends?"

"We are. Now that Yusuke has realized his demonic self, we have more in common than ever. I rather think of him as family."

"And me?"

Kurama cocked his head. "No. You are not family to me. You're something more than that."

"Why this obsession with definitions?"

"You know me. I like to put things in neat boxes in my mind so that I can use them later. Also nebulous categories irritate me to no end."

"Nebulous categories? Where do you get these things from?"

"My vocabulary? Well I  _am_  educated."

"What if I don't want to be put in a box?" Hiei asked defiantly.

The kitsune crossed his legs and smiled calmly. "Did I give the impression that this was a voluntary process? That was my mistake."

Hiei scowled and sat up. "Is this all about your control freak paranoia, fox? Because I refuse to play into that."

"Ah. Well perhaps I  _should_  get to the point."

"Oh, so there's a point to all this then? I'm thrilled to hear it."

"I doubt that that will continue to be your sentiment on the subject," Kurama said. "Which is why I started with a question that was intended to let you stumble upon the point on your own."

"Manipulation."

Kurama shrugged.

"The point?" Hiei prompted.

"You love me."

There was that oppressive silence again. That fucking annoying silence which apparently only affected Hiei. Kurama was just blinking at him placidly while he tried to process what had just been said.

"I  _what?_ " was the eventual retort.

The kitsune sighed. He was getting rather tired of repeating himself. "You. Love. Me." He enunciated each word clearly, intent on not saying it again.

"And how did you come to that conclusion?" Hiei spat.

"Simple analysis. I know you well, and I know what the emotion looks like. From there it was just a matter of putting two and two together. Assuming that we both accept that I'm right, I have another question."

"I never said you were right!" protested Hiei.

"Ah, but you didn't say I wrong either." Kurama stood up slowly and made his way over to the bed. His eyes clearly showed his intentions, and Hiei scrambled to be as far away from him as he could without actually leaving the bed. He looked, and indeed felt, like a cornered animal, but there was something else in there too. A curiosity. It was true that he had not denied the fox's claim, mostly because love was not an emotion that he spent time dwelling on. Still, he was interested to see where Kurama was going to go with this.

"Your question?" the fire demon asked, hating the tremor in his voice.

"Hm. When were you going to tell me that you loved me?"

"I never said-"

"I did preface the question by saying that we're assuming I'm right about you loving me," Kurama reminded him.

"Fine. If I did love you, I would never tell you."

Kurama blinked. "Never?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't believe that love is something I need. I've made it this far without unnecessary emotions and I can make it for the rest of my life without it," Hiei explained.

"That's very sad, Hiei," Kurama said. "For one who has never known love to never hope to experience it, makes me sad."

"Which is why you shouldn't bother with me."

"When have you ever known me to back down from a challenge, Hiei? Especially one as important this?"

Hiei was confused. "Why is this so important? I thought we were speaking hypothetically."

Kurama sighed in frustration. "You really can be dense sometimes, can't you?"

"You're the one confusing trust and love," Hiei shot back.

"No, that's still you," Kurama replied. "Allow me to demonstrate. I'm going to describe how love feels and I want you to tell me if at any point in our rather lengthy acquaintance you have never felt it. For me specifically." Taking Hiei's silence as acquiescence, Kurama continued. "I think about you when you aren't here. I like having you in my bed and in my home when you are here, and I look forward to rainy days and the just becauses that bring you here. When I'm with you, it somehow becomes alright that I am a thousand year old spirit fox in the body of a human male who lies to those humans he claims to love. It hurts less, this agony of being who I have chosen to be."

Hiei blinked at him slowly. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again making Kurama sigh in frustration. Ten minutes went by, and the redhead spoke again. "Alright, Hiei. Fine. You win."

"What?"

"You win. No confessions will be wrangled out of you today. Now, if you would just leave, we can pretend like this never happened."

Hiei was confused. "What?"

Kurama's eyes flashed. "There is no way in the three worlds that you are this thick, Hiei! I do not take rejection well, so if you would be so kind as to leave so I can lick my wounds in peace, I would certainly appreciate it."

"How did I reject you?"

"I just effectively told you that I love you, you tiny idiot!" Kurama snapped, his hands clenched tightly in his lap. "And you have nothing to say in return."

"You love me?" the fire demon was stunned.

"Just as much as you love me."

"That…makes no sense."

"And why doesn't it?" Kurama demanded. "Is it so absurd to think that I would care for you in return?"

"Well yes," Hiei replied. "You're this…perfect," he paused grasping for words, "cunning, beautiful thing. What can I possibly offer you that you cannot get elsewhere?"

"Love is not about what one can gain from the other, Hiei," the kitsune said gently. "And though my ego does love a good stroking every now and again, I am far from perfect. I believe the moral of the story here is that you love me which you are denial about, but it's alright because I love you just as much. Does that seem fair?"

"I guess." Hiei murmured.

Kurama gave him a bright smile and Hiei marveled at how quickly the kitsune's emotions could fluctuate. Those perceptive eyes were staring him down, and Hiei took another deep breath, knowing that this was far from over. The kitsune seemed to sense the confusion, so he spoke first. "Well, now that it is all out in the open, what should we do?"

Hiei swallowed. "How should I know? You're the one who's done this before."

"I haven't, actually."

The fire demon snorted. "Fox, the number of people you have had sex with is higher than the number of people I've killed."

Kurama smiled. He wasn't offended because what Hiei had said wasn't insulting. It was true. When he had been in his prime, he changed lovers more often than he changed clothes. Still, Hiei was wrong about something. "Sex," the kitsune said, "Is not the same as love. I have had more sex than you will ever hope to, but I have never been in love until now."

"Never?" Hiei found that hard to believe. "Why not?"

The redhead had to think about that one. "I'm not exactly sure. I imagine that it has something to do with my preferences."

"Are you going to explain that?"

"I don't know if I can in any way that you will understand, but I can try. I have always let my instincts drive me to the things I want, and I have never questioned them. This, with you, is much the same," Kurama said. They lapsed back into silence. It was clear that Hiei wasn't going to make the moves necessary here, so the kitsune took charge again. "Let's make a deal, you and I."

"I've been warned against making deals with kitsune," Hiei replied.

"By whom?"

"You mostly."

Kurama laughed. "Touché. This deal though, will benefit the both of us. Most deals with kitsune only go the one way."

Hiei leaned back. "Let's hear it then."

"This is as new for me as it is for you, Hiei. I say we explore this feeling together. You can set whatever pace you want, as long as you let me know what you're feeling. Do you think we can make that work?" Kurama let his face go emotionless as he waited for the answer.

Hiei seemed to be putting more thought into this than he did most things. He honestly thought that it would be easier to go back to how things were before he had come through the kitsune's window. They could pretend like none of this had happened, and go back to just being partners.

But he wasn't sure that was what he wanted either. He had always felt somehow…dissatisfied with the relationship that he and Kurama had. This was his chance to pursue a different thing with the kitsune. Fuck being afraid. He was going to do this.

"Deal," he whispered. "We have a deal."

And that was that.


End file.
